Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize