i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
