Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
