So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
