Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
