Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
