we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
