Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
