The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I did not marry a roomba.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
