That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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