What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
