Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
