Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
