That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
