we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
