ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
