Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
