I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pants are for mortals
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
