so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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