he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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