wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
