What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
