Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
smell my finger.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
