just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize