My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
