Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Floor bacon is actually really good
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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