she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
