Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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