therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
