I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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