Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
