Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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