Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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