can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
