ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
