OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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