Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Two words: nipple clamps
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