We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
