im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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