Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Alive.
So much puke
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
