Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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