I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
