I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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