I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
