There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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