No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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