She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I will pee on everything he values.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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