the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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