just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
