It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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