He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
