how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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