I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize