Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
