Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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