and she was petting her beer can
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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