didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
