Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
