I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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