I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
