He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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