He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
